Farewell to the Earls' Court Exhibition Hall.

Sunday is the last day, and the 17^th consecutive day at Earls’ Court for me; or 18^th if you count the setting up day. After a poor night’s sleep when Jane’s cat insisted on sleeping on the bed and getting attention we loaded the van and set off for the show. It’s definitely the best time of the week to drive in London; early morning on Sunday. The traffic is so light you can just cruise along. We parked the van for the day and made arrangements to park it close to the exit for a quick getaway. At times my eyes wanted to close, but of course there is nowhere to sleep at the show so I wasn’t able to get the rest I so badly need. At 3.30 I write these lines, the last of my Earls Court blog, and simply want to go home. It’s been a great experience but I am left with a feeling of sadness that I am not the right person to engage and sell to the public in this kind of forum. We don’t have the money for the kind of stand that attracts attention and I feel that my days of exhibiting are nearly over. I do want to do at least one Irish Show before I stop though. Above all I hope that enough of the contacts turn into sales or it will have been a very expensive mistake.

As a footnote, I only learned towards the end that this would be the last ever Ideal Home Show at Earls’ Court because it is about to be torn down, along with Earls’ Court 2 and much of the surrounding area. The whole neighbourhood is going to be flattened in order to build the largest housing development in Europe (so I am told) and it fills me with sadness that such an iconic building has to die. Looking at the scale of it fills me with awe, and the thought of the amount of metal, concrete and fittings comprised within it staggers the imagination. Like a vast ocean liner being towed to its last resting place it looms over the landscape, casting a long shadow into the future. The Show will transfer to the much smaller Olympia exhibition hall next year.

Day 15 at the Ideal Home Show

Friday is Day 15, and my energy is definitely fading, like a battery that has been doing its job for too long. However Sully, one of the Romford lads, made me feel ashamed of my lacklustre performance by getting a woman to take interest, that I had not engaged at all. As a result I upped my game and was active for several hours, calling my wares like Molly Malone. It was very productive and I got more leaflets distributed than nearly any other day.  By half past four, though, the steam had gone and I was yawning regularly.

Day 16 Saturday was very busy, and people were enthusiastically engaging with me and the product so time passed very quickly. Towards the end of the day I was getting tired and couldn’t wait to leave. A short tube journey would take me to the Angel Islington to meet my wife and daughter for a lovely meal at the Gate vegetarian restaurant. The food was as good as I had been told, and the combinations of flavours were exquisite. I had tomato stuffed pepper followed by tortillas stuffed with a variety of vegetables and spices on a bed of guacamole and topped off by an orange flavoured crème brulee; delicious. The back to Janes with Fran as fast as possible because we would lose an hour’s sleep due to the time change to British Summer Time.

Fourteenth day at the Ideal Home

Day 14 Thursday is the long one, which is not great because I’m already yawning at about 11.00. However, the footfall is good and the time passes quickly.

I just got a message from the organisers that due to expected heavy demand they want us to open at 9.30 Saturday and Sunday due to expected heavy demand, so we lose another half hour's sleep. This we receive at the end of an 11 hour day - and to add insult to injury they remind us that the clocks go forwards on Saturday night, losing us another hour's sleep!

Today has been much more positive than the past two days. It seems that people are actively interested as opposed to idly browsing as they have been for the earlier part of the week: a totally different attitude which has kept me much busier explaining the benefits of the dryline, and how to measure it. However, by 7.00 it is getting quiet and I haven’t spoken to anyone for about half an hour. The last two hours will drag.

Still, despite the lack of sleep Jane's looking after me really well so I've no cause to complain. She said there would be roast chicken and roast vegetables to eat tonight, after which I'll go straight to sleep. 

The Thirteenth Day

Day 13 Wednesday dawned and I felt quite rested when I woke. The day was chill but bright as I walked to the tube and I got a couple of phone calls while walking, which cheered me up. I mused on the tube. In the carriage there are so many personal worlds: books, magazines, newspapers, kindle e-books, smart phones, i-pads (watching Star Trek!), headphones listening to music, podcasts, downloads. Probably no two people doing the same thing, all to separate themselves from their cramped companions, and to drown the whine of the motors and the scream of the wheels; a Velvet Underground.

The show started slowly but by midday was quite busy. We are open today until 7.00 to welcome Prince Charles. I hope he passes me by as I can ask if he has used the airer and Dryline that I sent him for Kate and William’s boy. Sean came again to discuss some more points of business and left at about 3.00 to catch the plane back to Dublin. I left him to do some selling but I don’t think he was really very comfortable doing it; it makes me think perhaps he’s not the man for the job.

Prince Charles actually did arrive after 6 and was still talking to various people when I left at 7.00, but he never toured our area and the throng was cordoned off in front of his show houses, made from traditional green ecological materials to higher than Regulation standards. He was also front page news today about the housing shortage in the country, and London in particular, talking about the same housing stock – but there was no mention of the Ideal Home Show. The PR department must have been asleep on the job.

Day 11 at the Ideal Home Show

Day 11, Monday started very bright and sunny; a pleasure to walk to the tube. However, I feel that my batteries are getting low, and my resistance is getting lower, while the voltage is increasing and my capacitance is decreasing. I started without having any backup except my wife at weekends, wondering how I would cope with such an extended Show. I had arranged for other help if I needed it, but so far it hasn’t been necessary. This morning I find myself wondering if I will last out the course. After the hurly burly of the weekend when thousands of people attended, today seems very quiet, and the lack of response makes me feel dispirited. However, each time someone complements me on the product it lifts my spirits again.

It is weird to have so many people pass by you in a day. You start to realize the uniqueness of every individual; the very word individual – something that can’t be divided – underlines the point. Hundreds of thousands of people have passed by, but each person has been unique and special. Sullee, one of the Romford lads, keeps nipping out to have a cigarette and I end up taking the cash for him. The things sell themselves, even though they’re not all that useful unless you’re always drinking from a can. Maybe I should give up my invention and sell something cheap and novel too. Like a chocolate teapot…

Second weekend at the Ideal Home Show

Days 9 and 10 melded into one long stint during which we stood in turns to bark out our offer. We gave out a lot of leaflets, so now we have to hope that the interest turns into sales. On Saturday evening we went to see our daughter who lives in Islington, and who is not well at present. She is nearly recovered, and we went to get a takeaway Turkish meal from a lovely café called Gallipoli on Upper Street. It was delicious after a long hard day, but after a walk to the tube and from the tube at the other end our feet were killing us, as if on fire, and we fell asleep in minutes. Sunday was much the same, and after 6 we ate in Wagamama; again delicious, before Fran got the train back home and I got the tube to Jane’s. We had hoped to meet Nigel, an old friend who we all love, but he had a stomach bug and so couldn’t invite us to his boat. In retrospect, it probably would have been too much for us to do. I got back to Jane’s to find her children Charlie and Josh having a shouting match so I retired to my room, read for a while and fell fast asleep.

Day 8 at the Ideal HomeShow

Day 8, Friday. After the rain last night it was a bright clean sunny day as I walked to the tube this morning, and when the train arrived the carriages were unexpectedly vacant, with seats available in most carriages so I was able to listen to Leonard Cohen comfortably seated all the way to Earls Court. The Show also started gently, with little footfall before 10.30; quite different to previous days, giving almost a holiday feel to the day. Perhaps a lot of people take a long weekend and so lighten the load on public transport.

After a few hours it became apparent that I shouldn’t have had the second glass of wine last night, and I was not on top form. I’ll have to sleep well tonight to meet the weekend onslaught. Bad weather is forecast so there’s no disincentive to attend, as there was last weekend with the lovely hot weather. By the time the end came and I had to go to Paddington station to meet my wife, who was coming to help me each weekend, I was feeling totally exhausted. I had to wait half an hour for her delayed train so I headed straight to the pub on the platform for a reviving pint. Then an early night was in order.

Ideal Home Show day 7

Day 7  Thursday. I woke up feeling really tired this morning although I had slept well. After an hour or so I was ready to get the tube to Earls Court, listening to Exile on Main Street by the Stones in a crowded carriage for nearly an hour. It seemed appropriate somehow. It was certainly enlivening, and I felt I would need to be lively. Thursday is the late night day at the Show so I’ll be at work until 9.00 tonight. It was a busier day as well, although a rep for the organizers told me that they had already had over 120,000 people through the doors since the start. So many people have told me "it’s a great idea" that it’s easy to let the impetus to sell go away, and rest on my laurels. But in a way I like the challenge of a long day and a busy crowd.

One chap came up to me and said “Go on, give me the spiel; explain what’s special about it.” So of course I did. Then he commented on the knickers we hang on the line to attract attention and said that if he was Jimmy Saville he would be laughing in his grave. “What it would be like to have lived such a bad life, then die before people discovered what a bastard you were.” He went on at some length, glad to find someone who would listen to him, I guess. “Imagine if I was the Sutcliffe, the Moors murderer but I never got found out.” After five to ten minutes I really wanted him to go away. Eventually he did; vanished while I talked to someone who was actually interested in the Dryline and not their own opinions.

Another guy, older and greying, said he was getting more rebellious in his old age – we had been talking about the tyranny of the computer – and we speculated about gangs of senile delinquents roaming the streets. “We have the power now, and evil only requires good people to stand and do nothing to flourish. Wedgewood-Benn and Bob Crowe; there’s two good men gone. Who’ll stand up for us now?” It got much quieter after 7.00, although the crowd had not diminished after 4.00 as it had previously; a new intake after work must have replaced the daytime crowd. Interestingly, they are not as receptive as earlier in the day. Perhaps they are as tired as I am and a re going through the motions rather than actively looking for new ideas.

Ideal Home Show day 6

Day 6 Wednesday. I find that I am spending all morning handling the office admin on a very slow mobile connection to my laptop, then selling all day and in the evening getting back to the admin again once I have eaten. When I say “selling” it isn’t strictly accurate because I can’t sell something that depends on being a correct fit for the customer’s airer. All I can do is explain the benefits as enthusiastically as possible. Most passers-by don’t see what the product is, or what the benefits are, until I announce them. Having just written that, an Asian man has just walked up to the leaflet stand, selected a leaflet and asked me if it had a solar effect so I could easily explain to him. If only it was always so simple.

Ideal Home Show day 5

Day 5 Tuesday was a little busier than the Monday in my opinion, but it is very subjective if you sample the views of all the exhibitors – which vary a lot. The lad on the Canny Cap stall thought it was busier yesterday. To be honest, it seems either to be frantically busy or completely quiet by turns. It was a pleasure today when I had attracted a lady’s attention and she opened her eyes wide and said what a fantastic idea it was; in fact that she had been waiting for years for someone to invent such a thing. She would definitely get one!

There are many people today who either have a straight line or else don’t have space for a rotary line; some living in flats and some whose garden is too small. At Country Fairs and Garden Shows it is not a comment that we’ve heard much, and this is a sign of the difference between town and country, especially London and country. Naturally in the capital where land is scarce and highly prized the space for a rotary airer becomes a luxury.

Day 4 at the Ideal Home

Day 4: Monday, so there are not so many people around, but it is still pretty busy. Adam called me just literally the moment that I arrived at the stand; before I had even time to take the front cover off. Amazing timing! He ran through the orders he was able to process and send out. Then I opened up the stand and set the lights going again. I wish we had a product that was cheap and we could sell from the stall so that we could measure how well we are doing financially. As it is we can only look at the number of leaflets we have handed out, which is considerable. The Canny Cap chaps have changed personnel but they are rather bored and wishing for more sales. Likewise the Bottle Top Blaster lad, who said he might as well be asleep today as no-one was buying. I spend a lot of time on the computer to keep the emails manageable for later on. It’s difficult when you can’t synchronise the laptop and the desktop – and the desktop is where all the information is kept.

I find that people don’t often identify what the product is when it is housed in a stand of this size, so to say loudly to no-one in particular that we make covers for rotary washing lines often causes people to think about it and realize that it is relevant to their situation. Then we can talk in general terms and I can impart the information they require. Eye contact is really important too; if they look at the stand then it gives me permission to engage them by explaining what the product is. There’s a psychology to this kind of public sales pitch; I just wish I had the knack of it. There are a lot of professional presenters who have a script that often goes for ten or fifteen minutes until the crowd (there’s always a crowd; that’s part of the psychology) can’t wait to buy not one, not two, but three for a bargain price. Ron Popeil perfected the art of this kind of pitch in the US before moving into the “Infomercial” field on TV where he established Ronco, which you may remember selling Veg-O-Matics and such like. The trouble is that you have to stick rigidly to the script, which doesn’t suit my character type.

Monday Monday Can't trust that day...

Day 4: Monday, so there are not so many people around, but it is still pretty busy. Adam called me just literally the moment that I arrived at the stand; before I had even time to take the front cover off. Amazing timing! He ran through the orders he was able to process and send out. Then I opened up the stand and set the lights going again. I wish we had a product that was cheap and we could sell from the stall so that we could measure how well we are doing financially. As it is we can only look at the number of leaflets we have handed out, which is considerable. The Canny Cap chaps have changed personnel but they are rather bored and wishing for more sales. Likewise the Bottle Top Blaster lad, who said he might as well be asleep today as no-one was buying. I spend a lot of time on the computer to keep the emails manageable for later on. It’s difficult when you can’t synchronise the laptop and the desktop – and the desktop is where all the information is kept.

I find that people don’t often identify what the product is when it is housed in a stand of this size, so to say loudly to no-one in particular that we make covers for rotary washing lines often causes people to think about it and realize that it is relevant to their situation. Then we can talk in general terms and I can impart the information they require. Eye contact is really important too; if they look at the stand then it gives me permission to engage them by explaining what the product is. There’s a psychology to this kind of public sales pitch; I just wish I had the knack of it. There are a lot of professional presenters who have a script that often goes for ten or fifteen minutes until the crowd (there’s always a crowd; that’s part of the psychology) can’t wait to buy not one, not two, but three for a bargain price. Ron Popeil perfected the art of this kind of pitch in the US before moving into the “Infomercial” field on TV where he established Ronco, which you may remember selling Veg-O-Matics and such like. The trouble is that you have to stick rigidly to the script, which doesn’t suit my character type.

Sunday at the Ideal Home Show with Rotaire Dryline

Day 3 passed eventfully; I don’t know if it was because of the lovely weather (which we saw briefly on the way in) or because it was a Sunday, or because we found a way to engage with people as they passed, but we seemed to get a much better reception from the visitors, and a lot of definite maybes. Today we were equipped with a sandwich each, a samosa and a bakewell tart, coffee and tea – and Lynn made a toastie that was a bit burned so I ate it rather than let her waste it. I ended up feeling quite bloated. It’s noticeable that from day one to date the entries have become shorter and shorter due to Fran’s presence and the intensity of the traffic. I began to feel guilty when I was checking my emails and potential customers were passing by; the urge to make this investment work is so great.

It certainly is a big Show, probably as big as a major County Show, but condensed into a smaller area, and extending for 17 days on end. Over 300,000 people are expected each year. The quality of the fitting and the sheer cost that has gone into the setting is enormous; entire swimming pools filled with scintillating blue water, three Eco Homes and many spectacular gardens and buildings to go in them; from perspex globes to massive chalets. It was nice that Estelle came to visit us in the afternoon. Although she wasn’t in a fit state to do anything, having had a few drinks the previous night and some at lunchtime it was a pleasure to have her with us for a short while. It’s 5.45 now and Fran has gone to catch a train back to Cheltenham and then home. She’ll be up at 6 in the morning again, And I am concerned that she’s burning her candle too quickly. But it’s time to pack up and go as soon as I can, get back to Jane’s 

Rotaire Dryline at the Ideal Home Show Day 2

On day 2 I started under a handicap. Although Fran was now with me I had a bad night’s sleep due to the late meal and too much wine on the previous evening. We had met our daughter and Jane to eat at a little Italian restaurant in Islington – lovely food – but as usual I had imbibed rather too much wine to sleep beyond 4.00, so I spent a frustratingly long time lying awake. I had a nasty hangover by the time we arrived at the Show but we managed. Interest was much the same as yesterday but with so many more people that it was clear they were often being borne along on the tide of humanity past the stall without ever noticing it, or identifying what we were selling.

I took the time to go up the escalator to the Food area in the afternoon to sample the sausages and cheese, but even that didn't taste right. It was absolutely crammed with people, a solid mess of roiling humans heading in every direction under the sun. If you can imagine a packed tube full of people but all of whom are able to move in every direction then you will be getting close to the reality. We didn't make any actual sales but had several definitely interested and determined to measure their airers. I checked so emails in the morning but found the signal too poor for the system to be easily usable, and Outlook was not connecting because the password for the server had changed. With half an hour to go it is now quiet and we’re just waiting to get away at 6.00. A quiet, early night, without drinking, sounds perfect to me now.

Rotaire Dryline at the Ideal Home Show

It’s probably the caffeine wearing off, but I find the LED light string around the Dryline causes a strange disturbance in my vision. Around each point of light there is a scintillating halo which appears as a dancing haze above and below the light string. It’s not like the normal haze I see about bright lights but a much more vibrant active interference. Is it the visible emission of electrons? I wonder if it could be, and not simply my disintegrating eyesight. Looking across the arena at some powerful searchlights I notice a similar haze, but quite different in kind, like the difference between a still drink and a fizzy one. Perhaps there’s something in the theory after all.

At 5.15 I decide that even though I could go the distance and hold my bladder until the finish line I would be more comfortable if I visited the nearby toilet now rather than later. I start thinking how nice it will be to see Fran, Estelle and Jane in a little while. It’s getting very quiet now, to the extent that I can hear individual voices in the air rather than the complete drone of earlier. I’ll be happy for it to end and to switch off the lights, put away the computer and peg a Dryline (the fancy Union Jack one) over the frontage. 5.45: I talked to a couple who were interested and gave them the discount code – often it is enough to make them get to the order page. It’s time to put away the computer and prepare for the off. One day done.

Rotaire at the Ideal HomeShow III

Well, that was an interesting hour or so! I have sold a Concerto and taken the money by card. I think the new look may help. A lady from Epsom who I’d talked to previously returned and expressed an interest in buying now. I always get nervous and wish that the process took less time when I take an order by card; even when I’m on my home computer rather than on a dodgy mobile link while the customer stands around telling me their details. So, on with the show. Another lady went away very certain she would get a Concerto as well, though her friend liked the sun to get to her washing. A man stared at it and asked “Has no-one else ever thought of this?” “Loads of people have thought of it,” I said “but they haven’t ‘done’ it. They’ve used tarpaulin pegged to the corners, or fitted a parasol over the line, but they haven’t done it.” We went on to talk about other sales drivers apart from the rain: he leaves his washing out until it dries, but then in Devon where he lives you don’t get the pollution. Not everyone is so patient.

So now it’s 4.00pm and if anything it is slowing down. The Romford boys are looking a bit distracted. I finish my tea and sarnie. I still haven’t been to the toilet since the show started; pretty good going! I’m going to see if I can go the distance. A lady walks by, puzzled: “What are they selling?” She said. I indicate the roof over my head, much like an airline stewardess with the exit doors: two at the front and two at the back… “Ah, I get it,” she says and moves on. “I’ve seen that one at CAT” says another. Another lady with a strong East End accent says “You were on…” “Dragon’s  Den,” I said, finishing the sentence for her as she tried to remember the name of the programme. As it is quieting down I lend my second chair to the taller Romford boy and we talk for a while. He likes the giraffes but he can’t have one in his house; “A religious thing, nothing with eyes, it’s bad luck.” He says. 

Rotaire at the Ideal Home Show

1.00 I took a flu pill an hour ago with tea, and I’ve woken up a lot. Caffeine is the energizer. A man just asked if I had been on Dragon’s Den and we had quite a long talk. He took the details and said he would get his radio station to call; radio Time FM107.5 for a chat to talk about Dragons’ Den and to plug the product- they’re actively looking for people to interview and provide content. Another couple of ladies interested themselves in the idea, though one was a hardened “straightliner” – or fool, as we call them. I can understand it aesthetically but practically it’s a no-no. By half past it has gone a bit quieter, less people moving through my field of vision so I go to engage the Canny Cap lads opposite; two pleasant Asian types from Romford way. We talk about how fried we’re going to be after 17 days. It’s very easy to burn out.

Lunchtime; it’s time for me to eat the sandwich Jane made for me, bless her. She’s taken such good care of me, making sure I know where to park, feeding me, letting me and Fran have her bed. Just as I make the decision, more people pass and show interest. After a while I can eat and drink, then I try lurking in the stall opposite, hiding behind the forest of 6’ giraffes for £49. Then I pounce on a mother and daughter who’re taking an interest and persuade them to take the information away with them. Quite a number of overheard “what a good idea” comments are overheard as I sit typing. It is now 2.15 and the gangway is more busy again. I shall stand proudly outside and dare anyone to make derogatory comments. I don’t find that standing in the aisle is productive. I think people see me hovering and instantly look the other way. Perhaps it is the uniform (I’m wearing the Rotaire official fleece) that alerts or deters them, so I’ll take it off and see what occurs.

Rotaire at the Ideal Home Show

It’s 12.00 and I’ve started writing as a way to focus my mind. People seem more receptive when I’m not actively promoting the stand, but idly tapping away, which is another bonus. I’m going to move the boxes from behind this chair to make it more comfortable. It’s hard to decide where to settle. If folk look puzzled I can tell them it’s a cover for a washing line but other approaches seem doomed to failure. Being in a shell like this you only get a very brief view of the passing individual; a five second walk past. I’m going to stand at the front to see if it’s any better from an engagement point of view.

More interaction all of a sudden, I still haven’t stood out at the front. Brief bursts of interest and long periods of gawping without understanding. I just engaged with my second genuinely interested punter. Then standing to the side of the frontage adjacent to the mini chalet I had an intense ten minute spell of chatting, which quite lifted me. Two people wanted the show offer so I gave them the secret discount code. But I can’t say what it is, or it wouldn’t be a secret any more…

IDEAL HOME SHOW

Started early and got to the show by 9.00 after marveling at the complexity of the underground system. Was there ever a map showing the lines as they are on the ground –or underground – like a ball of string with loose ends stretching out to Heathrow and Cockfosters??

I went upstairs at opening time to see Lynn Green who as usual was selling toastabags and she kindly gave me a sandwich freshly toasted. My pitch is opposite a knickknack cum folk art emporium selling everything from the ubiquitous wooden duck to intricately carved face masks too small for a face. A herd of wooden giraffes loom overhead in the centre of the stall. He says they delivered 7 vans of goods, and they only have 3 vans to take it away afterwards. Next opposite is a late booking that set up early this morning in a shell labeled Backdoor Shoes. They sell bottle tops to fit over a drinks can and seem to be doing very well. They can attract quite a crowd whereas I am lucky if people see what the product is. The shell only just accommodates the Dryline so it’s hard to make it obvious. The most interesting thing that happened was when another late booking started hammering on the wall next to the knickknack stall and half a dozen framed pieces and odds and ends came crashing down to the floor on the other side. The man with the hammer appeared on the other side of the stall looking sheepish, and began to pick it all up again, wondering how he was going to fix anything to the wall.